Dull Day Fails To Take The Shine Off An Eclectic Mix Of Loyal And Literate Magpies
The Age
Wednesday June 11, 2008
The Floreat Pica Society flies in the face of Collingwood fan stereotypes.
IT IS a dull Queen's Birthday.Threatening rain. I climb the Great Southern Stand to Q15, looking for a bloke called Steve Fahey.I've never met Steve. But he has sent me the most wonderful email, announcing himself to be the (selfappointed) leader of the Floreat Pica Society, the type of unstructured and informal group that will grow out of a common love or cause, this one a passion for the Pies.Floreat Pica, he explained in his email, is the Collingwood motto. It means "Prosper the Magpie".I find Steve and his party, all decked out in black and white. Steve wears a scarf that looks like it was knitted by Nanna while she watched BP Pick-A-Box. He is with his brother Paul ("He's the one who really knows footy") and a tribe of kids, although 12-year-old Holly is not with them. She is at a birthday party and "not overly happy".The Floreat Pica Society is like a pumpkin vine on the compost heap. It just popped up and started growing. It germinated when Steve, a psychologist with the Victorian Police, began to write colourful match reports for his best mate Stork, whose work took him interstate and overseas. "I enjoyed writing them and he enjoyed reading them," Steve tells me, "and they started getting circulated to others." They are funny and insightful reports, full of fans' fanaticism, affection and frustration. More than 40 people are now on the list. Steve writes most of the reports. He awards votes (3-2-1) for the society's prestigious Michael Horsburgh Medal.Others have developed their own roles. Another primary school (St Martin of Tours, Rosanna) friend of Steve's, TAFKATFM (The Artist Formerly Known As The Fat Man), is the voice of fear and pessimism in the society. A man who has trimmed down (possibly to remain competitive with his 12-year-old son at golf), TAFKATFM can write off a career in an instant and is first to say during a match or season: "We're gone!" He awards votes for the Danny Roach Medal, 3-2-1 for the worst three players, and writes pure vitriol in highlighting the degree of ineptitude displayed on the day. ("He once gave Anthony Rocca five votes.") We are joined by Rob Scott, better known as Haiku Bob, who also writes a match report each week.Only his report is in the form of a sequence of nine haiku. Haiku is a style of Japanese poetry - three short lines that offer description, insight and mood. Despite its brevity, it is rather sophisticated.Rob, who taught English in Japan for a while, has been writing haiku for years.One of his poems, part of the series that appears in Melbourne trams and trains, was voted the people's choice.Luna Park - Children catching raindrops With their mouths Haiku Bob is not thinking about Luna Park today. As the game begins, he doesn't seem to be watching for poetic moments. Like the whole Floreat Pica Society, he just wants the Pies to win, and they're bombing the ball into the forward line with almost no result. Steve ("My career ended years ago when I was carried off on a stretcher playing F division for Commonwealth Bank") and Paul (who coached old Ivanhoe in the Ammos' A section) discuss the possible restructuring of the inside 50 as if they are sitting with Mick Malthouse. They know their footy.These days, Haiku Bob is a social worker and teacher.He is married to a Swedish psychologist. While in the Netherlands, Haiku Bob worked for the War Crimes Tribunal. "I relied on the internet for the footy," he says. "The match reports were terrible. Formulaic.Poorly written. Nothing in them. I had to use my imagination to fill in the gaps."He started to write haiku footy reports. He calls it Pie-ku. "Really, it's roo-ku: Australian haiku," he explains, as the Mop provides him with a haiku moment. "They're not really haiku, just little snapshots."Each week, Steve includes Haiku Bob's sequence in the emailed report. "People think you don your haiku lamps," he laughs, "and get into some zen-like state of heightened awareness. But you're just at the footy."Steve has sent me Haiku Bob's part of the sequence from the recent thrashing of Geelong.Between the first tackle and the last goal my gaping mouth rotting red leaves Scarlett trampled on all night early lead the Collingwood in me grows uneasy unable to sleep - choosing which goals I'm going to count I admire the art rather than the subject matter.I look forward to the latest report.
© 2008 The Age
